Round 7 – Richmond v Collingwood: Caaarrrtchiin!!


If you heard that guttural, eardrum rupturing moan at about 5:45, then you’re either my neighbour, family or stalker. This occurred during a honest-to-God freakin’ brilliant few hours when my Tiges beat Collingwood.

Yes, you read that. Collingwood. And yes. Richmond. Very Richmondy Richmond.

Back to that moment then. The scene was a throw-in, Richmond forward line. Ivan Maric, with appropriate white cloth robe, halo and silky, flowing mullet palms the ball authoritatively down to the hero of the tale, the apparently “good but not great” Trent Cotchin. The ball falls submissively into Trent’s ready hands and sits snugly while Cotch works his magic.

He hops like a basketballer to the left before weaving inboard and snapping it as crisply as Nathan Brown’s leg. Off his wrong boot and in a stoppage, the captain slots an absolute ripper, an act that takes no longer than two seconds.

Dad grins. “‘Good not great’. My arse, Pads”.

After much of the above referred guttural moaning, I come to one conclusion.

Trent William Cotchin is an obscenely talented footballer and everyone who questions his ability needs to binge-watch the referred to passage of play with their eyelids taped open.

So the rest of the game. It would be difficult for the Tiggers without clearance machine Shane Edwards. They got their cruddy quarter over and done with nice and early, conceding the first four goals of the game in a display of abysmal football, 25 points down in as many minutes. Cloke was manned by 2nd gamer Elton early (why?) and poor disposal was yet again causing Richmond huge problems.

Thoughts of unbearably smug Collingwood supporters receded as the Tigers cut their losses and poured on six goals, gaining the lead. It was through the efforts of Cotchin, Deledio, Grigg and Maric that Richmond drew back the fast-starting Pies. Maligned forward Vickery slotted a surprising goal from deep in the pocket to put the Tigers up by two goals at the half. The yellow-and-black army was up and about with the lead and momentum their way, but their joy was short-lived.

Grigga and Jack put the margin over 20 points before it was Collingwood’s turn to storm back. Led by Swan and Crisp, the Pies charged back and grabbed back the lead. Straight after the mandatory baffling Cloke monster goal. Cotchin slotted that goal, genuinely out of nowhere, before Seedsman got a good look after the siren to make the Collingwood lead over a goal, but his kick had more shank than my lamb dinner.

The last quarter was a beauty. It had highlight-reel worthy play, inspiring goals, too many lead changes and serious tension. What won the game were the little efforts. The second of two Richmond debutants, Connor Menadue, was on the receiving end of hospital kick from defence. With Pendlebury, quiet all day and looking for a spark, spoilt his marking attempt and hounded him toward the ball, Menadue calmly paddled the ball down the line, gaining ten metres while another Magpie charged at him, before knocking the ball to the safety of the boundary. The first year player more than held his own against a Brownlow contender.

Another was when the Herculean Cotchin stood before three charging Collingwood midfielders. Paul Seedsman looked to handball past him to his teammate, but didn’t expect to have the Richmond captain belt the ball away, bump him off the ball and gather the footy. A minute later, Riewoldt slotted another influential left foot snap that would be the sealer.

The siren and ensuing roar is always sweet when the yellow-and-black have a good win. It’s so much sweeter when the Tigers have found their way past the Collingwood Footy Club.

RICHMOND 1.2 9.5 12.6 16.9 (105)
COLLINGWOOD 4.4 7.5 12.7 15.10 (100)

Richmond: Riewoldt 4, Vickery 3, Grigg 2, Cotchin 2, Deledio 2, McIntosh, Morris, Maric.
Collingwood: Cloke 3, Elliott 2, Crisp 2, Swan 2, White 2, De Goey, Broomhead, Blair, Witts.

Richmond: Cotchin, Deledio, Grigg, B. Ellis, Riewoldt, Maric, Miles.
Collingwood: Swan, Crisp, Cloke, Seedsman, De Goey, Williams.

Votes: Deledio (Rich) 1, Swan (Coll) 2, Cotchin (Rich) 3.

Umpires: Farmer, Stephens, Schmitt.

Official crowd: 59,034 at the MCG.

About John Harms

John Harms is a writer, broadcaster, publisher, historian, speaker and teacher. He loves stories.

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